This book is a spiritual journey 6 years in the making. I write not only about the meaning of life, but what happens when a one’s highest priority becomes expressing truth for its own sake. When all of society, and the absurdities of everyday life are dismissed as a waste of time, and the single goal of communicating the “project” serves to define all other variables by default. Even in today’s confused world, there are means and ways to do so. To drop out of high school, and get by through the grace of God until a CD ROM, web site, laptop and wireless phone enables a pure upload. But in a world where people are malicious even in supermarkets when the stakes are just fruits and vegetables, manifesting a moment of truth, a meaning of life, an infinite amount of potential energy, into a tangible book becomes a very dangerous endeavor. Especially for a sensitive guy like me- and if I was like everyone else and mean/dumb enough to be immune to all the perils of the rat race, I wouldn’t have come up with these ideas to begin with. I am now living as a wired hermit, alienated from all society, and even my family. I am 26 but refuse to become an adult, when everyone knows children are happier, more free, and dream more purely. The more love I create, whether through writing, music, images, or the SWS Network of web sites, the more all else becomes existent by default. But its dangerous to be a baby. Even with the help of digital technology. As I strive to become an independently survivable digital infant, I become much more susceptible to the obstacles we all experience daily, carrying our dreams of love across the dangerous and limiting threshold that define the everyday physical worlds we live in. The result is always diminished by the fear and illusion which define this world. All physical reality, by definition, is the absence in some form of spiritual existence. To be totally God like is to not exist. To be 1 or 0, not the grey mush in between. But in this grey mush, we are scramble to somehow increase our immortality, and make our souls more powerful for when we go back to the infinite world of non-existence from which we came. And it is the potential to create more love than existed previously, not because but in spite of the greyness, pollution, that makes the human experience infinitely valuable. Every kick becomes a push, every death a birth, every birth a death, every added mess, a potential for more harmony to be created. And potential builds the spiritual world just as molecules and atoms build the world of our senses.
In addition to philosophical and spiritual examinations, I share some of the personal experiences, anecdotes, triumphs, and tragedies, that brought me to these realizations. This book is best experienced together with the http://DoubleMirrors.comwebsite, updated continually, and the Project Double Mirrors CD ROM, which includes multimedia, animation, hundreds of images, and an original ambient/techno soundtrack. The work begins with light autobiographical writing, and gradually increases in depth and philosophical content, with the extended Double Mirror Theory on page 303, and concludes with the recent insights “The Doorway” and “Origin of the Universe/ 1s and 0s”, which came to me while in wired Jerusalem seclusion at the turn of the millennium. This section has now been included as a second volume entitled The Doorway. The first half of the book, mostly written while a student at Columbia, in NYC, relates experiences ranging from surviving a yeshiva in Milwaukee, to strip bars in NYC, and then New/Old Jews in Israel, and Ethiopian Woman. These sections were mostly written in 1994 and 1995, in a conversational informal style of writing that suited this chronology. The last half the book is more of a journal and culminates with an escape to an island where I can work without distraction, and also mentions other travels throughout the South Pacific, Central, and South America.
Please visit http://DoubleMirrors.comfor continual updates, including an ongoing online journal project, Project Double Mirrors CD ROM/ Double Mirrors Soundtrack audio CD ordering info, as well as an extensive full color image and multimedia gallery. To hear the ambient/techno Double Mirrors soundtrack, inspired by Ethiopian Women, dolphins, and Double Mirrors, please visit:
Version 1.2 of this book, uploaded on 11/1/00 was 604 pages, 250,000 words. For version 1.3 I had to edit out 172 pages ( down to 180,000 words) for the publisher, which amounted to omitting 28% of the book. So In order to avoid limitations in the publishing process, I decided to publish a 2 volume work, with the second volume entitled The Doorway, focusing on writings and diolouge from 1997 to the present, beging with my move from NYC to Jerusalem, and on the Origin of the Universe theory from Jerusalem, at the turn of the millenium, which appears in the preface section of this book as well. Many exceprts from both books, as well as most of the removed sections, and can also be found on DoubleMirrors.com in the section “book excerpts.” For recent updates, please visit the ongoing online journal at DoubleMirrors.com/journal.
Double Mirror Theory - 1994 (see page 303 for the 20 page version)
Mankind's inexhaustible quest for truth, spirituality, god, and or however else one wishes to refer to the infinite, can be accounted for by what I refer to as my theory of the double mirrors. Like animals, are senses perceive a physical world; light reflects off tangible objects, and into the retina, sending a chemical message that is interpreted by the brain. This reflection causes other chemical functions leading to all of the natural behavior of animals. The chimpanzee sees the peanut and eats it. What makes us different, however, is that we somehow reflect on our existence, analyzing our sense perception from a distance. This ability in effect, provides another "mirror," and combines with the first reflection to produce the illusion of infinity. We are like a chimpanzee living between two mirrors, constantly viewing not only the grass in front of him, but the reflection of the grass and the reflection of the reflection and so on. As a result, we humans do not merely eat the peanut, but ponder why we are eating the peanut, what the world would be like if it were not for the peanut, and how we should properly treat the peanut, etc.. Like the illusion of infinity is produced by parallel mirrors, we construe notions of immortality, the soul, god, and spirituality. If our minds were merely powerful computers, we might still have produced advanced technology but the perception of metaphysics would be unattainable.
It is only our self perception that has led mankind to the perhaps infinitely difficult problem that confronts us all- how our we to deal with our notions of spirituality, and should it affect our interaction with the physical world? Should our primary and most basic interaction with the sensual world be affected by notions derived from our secondary reflections? Should our pursuit of spirituality affect our interaction with the physical world? Or should interaction with this sensual world be used to help us in our search for the spiritual?
Like many people, these are questions that I have personally tackled for most of my life. My own journey culminated in Jerusalem, the city where men have been pondering these questions for four thousand years, and then led to wondering much of the glove as a wired hermit/digital nomad , seeking dolphins and mermaids to help nurture my wounded spirit, and a place to conclude Project Double Mirrors without distraction. From Times square, Manhattan, to remote islands in the South Pacific , each cluster of human energy on this planet seems to reveal the same fundamental truths. When it comes down to it, I’m just a really sensitive guy with a laptop and a few other digital tools, and hope to communicate what I have seen- Double Mirrors, a vision of Dolphins, A Doorway, Infinite Universes, and some of the absurd but true travels tales along the way.
1 and O and the Origin of the Universe – 2000/.excerpts. (see volume 2 “The Doorway” for full 36 page version. This was written in February, 2000, in Jerusalem ,in Journal form as the ideas came to me)
Very much like a digital/binary system, the universe can be seen as being made up entirely of 1s and 0s.
1 = love , manifested by life, creativity, and existence.
0 = (-love) , or “lack of love” , complete destruction and non-existence.
infinite- that which supercedes time and space. 1 and 0. The sum of all this is God.
All that exists and all that does not exist is a manifestation of consciousness. Awareness encompasses all 1 and zero, or put another way:
Awareness = love- attachment
Where “attachment” is another term for anti-love or zero, or also referred to as need.
This is an equation I have been writing about. but it is more complex, because there is no time element for any of these infinite elements. It becomes irrelevant whether the variable exists in past present or future.
so love includes all love we potentially will have in future, kinetically have had in past, and now in present.
so it becomes an infinitely complex, constantly flowing equation, especially when taken into account the 6 billion people interacting with eachother on this planet, nearly all aware of eachother's presence. Each human element of awareness, creating new worlds of 1 and 0, expanding the spiritual universe without end, like a massive city somehow building itself with an endless supply of self aware bricks, stones, and mortar.
The physical world – does not exist –but in fact exist only as elements and manifestations of infinite variable combinations of awareness. All expressed in infinite relationships of love and –love (1 and 0). Objects can radiate love or need, and all objects are elements of conscienceness. So God is in rock and mountain as well. People strive to accumulate objects perceived as containing large amounts of love or the potential to produce love, not realizing that it is much more effective to strive directly for love/truth as a pure ideal which is the source for all these shadows.
[if you have 1 wish, instead of choosing something tangible, wouldn’t it be more wise to chose the ability to have an infinite number of further wishes come true?]
The dance between 1 and 0:
Why does the universe exist? Why the illusion? why the matrix? why the 0 (destruction, lack of love, etc)? Would not a happy world of sunny skies make more sense?
Why are late Friday Afternoons always so dark and cloudy? Why does the sky really look different on many Monday mornings compared to happy Sunday’s with family or friends in the park? Can people change the weather?
Of course- we can create anything we can imagine. We “bend spoons” all the time without realizing it.
In a single moment, not in the past present or future. . a big bang. – 13 billion years ago, and also right now- an entire universe was/is being born from a drop of matter smaller than a grain of sand- scientists ponder what happened on a physical level, and attribute this explosion to the creation of the universe.
But this universe actually exploded into 2 parallel planes of 1 and 0, mirror images of eachother, and 1 and 0 became infinite. The physical universe in between became the system of interaction in which both 1 and 0 infinitely expand and contract simultaneously
God exists because he exists now, and therefore always exists.
lack of God exists now, and is therefore also infinite. The equation does not change in time.
We spread it into chronological terms because that is only way we can perceive – as in genesis – “in the beginning”
By definition God creates. God is all that is creative. Lack of God just is- it cannot create.
God cannot self destruct by definition.
So what does God gain by creating 0?
Well look at a couple making love. Kiss a girl, put your tongue in her mouth, and it feels nice. . so why not leave it in there permanently? Love is increased by the in and out motion. A 1 and 0 dance that ends in an increase for both sides is the binary language of the universe.
before time, in a single instant God and Lack of God collide.
I shuddered and thought, could it be that God and a "Devil" are making love, growing mutually stronger even as each has its ebbs and peaks?
Well this is where western ideas of God must be thrown aside.
Think of a yin and yang.
there is a no devil as a sentient entity, only pure blackness, nothingness, like a black hole. . something we cannot even perceive. . lack of God, by definition is not sentient nor does it create .
it is not evil. . it is just pure nothing. it is beautiful and even part of God, because in its lack of God it serves to ultimately increase God. (a lone white dot becomes that much more beautiful when surrounded by black canvas)
the dance between 1 and 0 . . and when they first interacted. . this was the big bang. the physical universe, time , and space. . this is the system constructed to host the dance.
God becomes the sum of all, as the 2 merge. ..
[humanity is created in God’s image- is God a man or a woman = neither, God is the result of the 2 coming together]
Of course it didn’t happen in time. . there is no time on this level. . the explosion between 2 planes, and formation of “Day and Night” happened because it could happen.
1 and 0 are making love. .. both constantly increasing and infinitely feeding off of eachother. . . by default all then becomes an agent of 1. .. all becomes beautiful. . even 0, because all are contributing to more glory for 1. . of course from the other point of view all is nothing. .. and all increases 0. . . . but from an esthetic standpoint, . .. as we paint the picture, the result is the same whether we focus on negative or positive space. Either way the same painting results and is equally beautiful.
However, as humans lacking sufficient purity and effectiveness to reach the same result regardless of our perspective there is a huge difference resulting from the perspective we choose to take. Choosing to be loving and creative or destructive results in significant differences.
So God is sum of all. . . and is all. .. nothing and everything, past present and future, every piece of energy and mass in the universe and every action "good" or "bad." all must be loved accordingly.
All mater that has been perceived or has the potential to be perceived/loved in the future, is therefore an element of God.
All this with God’s help. . I cannot outthink or out-rationalize , but through God’s help know through love.
Fell asleep around 5 am contemplating how universe could originate between 2 parallel planes. . black and white of 1 and 0. . . or maybe there are many universes at different points where they interact in different dimensions?
We can’t think in dimensions of consciousness rationally. .. our universe exists now because retroactively it could. . non-rationally it exploded into being a finite time ago. . but God has always existed .. than why has not the universe always existed, if the universe is part of God? Well indirectly it has. . . perhaps God is always expanding. . universe was result of the expansion into time/space through interaction of 1, 0
God = 1 + 0
Consciousness = love + (-love)
God = sum of all consciousness
Could be it be that in addition to the 1 and 0 parallel planes producing God as a massive double mirror, a microcosmic model is also in effect>?
Whether the macrocosmic model is exclusive, or is augmented by the endless micro double mirrors within each 1 and 0 , the end result is the same. But the beauty of the microcosmic model is that with each act of love or creation, we are making God stronger. In fact with each moment, regardless of our actions, we are adding to the consciousness of the universe.
Consciousness lives in the world of infinite potential energy (produced by Double Mirrors, as opposed to the kinetic actual finite world of the physical universe). This potential, virtual world is fought over endlessly. . Destructive power becomes more about the bombs you could drop than the one you actually did drop. The USA won a cold war simply by achieving the most potential power without dropping a single bomb on Moscow.
On the flip side, potential Love, is fought over with even more ferocity by all people. Children are hurt, beautiful women are preyed on. And prophets are killed. It becomes impossible to exist in any group with higher levels of potential than those around you without attempts to force you to spend this energy on need or love. Or destroy you completely (Jesus’ crucifixion) – they had to kill him not really because they fear the alien who is different but because such high levels of consciousness would destroy all those unable or too fearful to convert this amount energy to love. . . all of Jerusalem who could not love at this magnitude would develop huge needs as a result . (the only remaining variable to increase). .. The people would effectively drown in this wave of energy as they panic. .. so for the corrupted and spiritually decayed masses, killing a prophet is actual self preservation.
The Digital Prophet:
Excerpt from DoubleMirrors.com intro page:
Karl Marx says technological revolution is accompanied by social revolution. Spirituality comes from people. This means a spiritual revolution will mirror the digital revolution that is upon us. The revolution is raging, and even as our Ricki Lake-spray on cheese culture of shadows soaks up the joy of ordering pizza on the "information superhighway," a guy like me, with an MTV attention span, and Woody Allan neurotic, has the tools to communicate. I am plugged in, and my dream is to put my whole life, vision quest and all, onto a single CD ROM. Spiritual exhibitionism at its best! We are half animal, half god. As the shadows evolve, so does our spirit. . .We have come to an age of digital messiahs and post modern prophets. Neurotic Jesus preaching on the World Wide Web. Will another messiah come ridding on a white horse and save our souls? No. A messiah is sleeping inside each of us. WE will make this explosion of Love/ Truth/ God happen.
Energy flows both ways. Love, like an atom bomb, is an energy that builds off itself. One atom splits, creating enough energy to split another atom, and so on. My atom is split pretty bad- stared too hard into the light, brain somewhat blinded. . . but if I can split one other atom out there- one other 13 year old kid still trying to recover from his Jewish Mother- and help him to replace rage with sadness, then I have done my share to win the battle.
In other words: through evolving technologically, enhanced with digital tools, we have an opportunity to transcend spiritually as well. The future of prophets, in this increasingly corrupt and non-spiritual world, is digital. [In fact these digital islands might find refuge as wired hermits, living on remote islands, much as the priests and Levvites left Jerusalem 3000 years ago, due to the political corruption , took the Ark of Covenant with them, and settled in Ethiopia, where they would have seclusion and purity.]
Back to 2/2000 Jerusalem Journal:
A prophet must accumulate massive consciousness levels. . through thinking, living, contemplation, self examination, awareness, love, reduction of need/attachment etc.
Often, the only way to survive for those with a spiritual mission is to be a hermit. . to close off all leaks that would kill you or your vision. ..
Or to choose martyrdom for sake of message. . this worked for Jesus and his contribution of consciousness was perhaps greatest of any single human.
Or to spend it all at its peak (highest potential) on loving dolphins, waves, machines or some lucky woman if you are able to in a truly loving way (difficult- easier to be a hermit, especially if demons haven’t been groked (manifested)away) (peak of kinetic), . .. and then if she reciprocates the love. . the infinite prize is a baby. . and the potential energy peaks once more. . this time even higher than his prophet father who may now reap the indirect tier benefits of the blessing of a possible prophet son.
(as I type this the local Jerusalem neighborhood madman is yelling through speaker, and cars go by attempting to grab a piece of this new raw consciousness. I cover my ears and turn on techno music truly making them go away, not just in the imaginary sense.)
What is the origin of first drop of consciousness that originated these infinite planes of 1 and 0. . . and the entire universe? The potential for self aware entities to be created. . . this is what created the universe. .. in the beginning there was nothing and everything at once and at once all in between. ..
Take away the illusion of time and the spatial universe. . . and compress all infinite energy into one moment and one atom. . this is what by logic must spread out into 1 or more universes like the one we are now living in.
God creates Man and Man creates God in same moment. . . God retroactively explains how we got here. . and we retroactively explain God.
The meaning of Life (excerpt from Journal 4/8/00, Maui: Shabbat afternoon, perhaps the final peace in puzzle on how to articulate “everything” hits me:
To love love
To need need
To be aware of awareness. . each of these are entities we can develop independent relationships with.
To give meaning , meaning. . .
What is the meaning of life? Meaning!
We give meaning to all that we perceive. All perceived reality manifests as new reality based on the meaning which we, as self aware beings, provide.
We determine the meaning of our lives based on how we choose to define our perceived experience. This is how new realities are continually, created, compounding instantly.
Do not let others define your meaning. . pollute your spirit by entering and stealing and corrupting what is your purpose as a self aware being – to define and build meanings of harmony as only each of us can do on our own. How could I know what is possibly harmonious with every experience you have lived? Only you know this deep in your soul. By being a hermit I ensure no one else is defining me, or “smudging” my mirrors, which have been struggling to polish and align to the best of my ability, the way I know how . Only time you want someone to provide meaning for you is if they are loving you- they are affirming your existence as an element of love.
The meaning of life is meaning.
All non –loving perception must be avoided. As one of the first responders to the Double Mirror theory uploaded to DoubleMirrors.com pointed out- that which is perceived has been proven in Quantum Physics to change on the most basic sub-atomic level!! This isn’t just new age theories. . . scary huh.
So I go to Tahiti next week to drink water, grok and purify, thank God now stocked up on survival tools. God willing I will find total dolphin island seclusion immediately thereafter, in which case I will upload all that you have now read.
God is Great.
Infinite regression of Big Bangs:
Universe origin – big bang- possibly occurred at same moment as last universe compressed fully. . doorway between the 2. .. the physical universe is finite but there have been an infinite number of universes before this. . . Separated only by time. ..each recycled, but containing the same spiritual energy, which is timeless. In the spiritual universe nothing ever changes – all remains constant – an infinite plane of 1 and 0 interacting as usual . . sort of makes used car dealerships suddenly not that bad. . . of course they didn’t have a big bang to purify the exchange. . .
. many universes with 1/0 and physical worlds in between are in existence each creating the next like a chain reaction. .. .. . they all lead in one big circle. . . infinitely creating eachother. No one universe can explain its own existence. . the symbiotic relationship of 1/0 and the physical doorways that facilitate the dialogue in between, is what they all share. .
each universe separated by time. . or by other dimensions we cannot comprehend such as the dimension of potential energy- the universe of all that has the potential of existing.
the infinite 1 and infinite 0 are the infinite parallel planes in between which all this occurs.
Makes you amazed to think how small we are. . wow. . . one man in one world in a world of worlds. . one self aware entity in one universe in a universe of universes of universes. . .
Because the universe is itself an illusion- (because it had no way of being originated), there is no single universe that is more “real” than the infinite number of other universes in the infinite regression. .
. universe will also end. . just as it began. . it is finite. . . then new universe will begin. . just as this one did. . . so new universe already exists. . . because it will exists.. . . so there are an infinite number of physical universes. . none of which are really here. . .
[so you can be certain that whatever you are doing right now, no matter how bizarre, there is an infinite regression of identical you’s doing the exact same thing in other world’s. . the chances are 1 in 10000000000000000 perhaps, but this is more than sufficient considering the infinite regression of worlds]
All there is 1 and 0. . . everything in between these 2 planes is the physical necessity/reality. . . a culmination of a beautiful act of love making. . . but very much an illusion. . a mere projection of the parallel mirrors of God.
Can people hurt you?
Nothing is a bad. . . no need to be sad. .. no one can hurt you. . . you are infinite. .. . . because you have the potential to be. .. . . because I was Son of Waves for one instant. . this 1 entity/creator /lover of waves and dolphins is infinite.. . become immortal for at least a moment, and you are always immortal. .. strive to reach this moment . your soul is infinite. .. take away 10000 in “damage points”, and you are still infinite. . . cars passing outside, neighbors. . nothing can affect you. . . all it can do is convince you to revert to 0, to cease motion and creativity, and let infinite play out as a lack of 1. . . a lack of motion. . . this is also not bad in itself. . God is victorious and as simply being a self aware entity, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR HOW YOU ACT OR WHO HURTS YOU, God LOVES you, and your very existence is an act of love!!
As they force you into 0. .. 1 bounces back stronger. .. a universe of positive potential and love, and good things are then created in the same fashion as all the other universes around us. . .movies, books, acts of love, planets, solar systems, minds, lifetimes, galaxies, etc. . .no one is more real or even relatively more significant than an other. . .
1 human life or one galaxy. . both have same relative value. . . each is just one tiny drop in the God equation, but as integral as any strand of DNA- containing the same exact laws governing the others.
Any atom, any cell, any planet. .. each would be enough to reverse hack the meaning of life.
Egos are only in the same world by illusion. in reality we are only joined in the same world when we love. so hatred can only affect us in one way- by convincing us to self destruct. We create our own realities.
when we interact with the other worlds/people around us. .. then our life can be destroyed through any number of ways. . . people are masters at inspiring need, turning off your electricity, slapping you in the face, etc
this is done by convincing us that we are in fact not worthy of love. . our self image is reduced. The world matrix we imagine and create/dream for ourselves is diminished. all negative action is in fact a result of this process. when no love, only self, no other, so the interaction, even the slap is an illusion. . . it could not have happened, unless you imagined that it should. . . they convince you that at this moment you deserve the slap based on factors they attempt to impose on you.
A powerful mind would know that this is not true, and the slap would never reach its target. like Neo placing each bullet on floor.
In a loving world hurting someone else also becomes self destructive (we are all sharing the same pool of love) since all humans have at least some 1, and we all share the same planet, and mix all of our energy every time we eat or flush the toilet, then hurting someone else is also hurting yourself. (so it’s a multi-leveled and mutual self destruction, whenever one human hurts another).
so in a predatorial society. . all cities. . self love (that we are entitled to positive dreams/realities) is what everyone is fighting over. . .
in my very unusual situation, as a wired hermit on a remote island, with little human interaction the energy is saved, thank God, if not fully, at least enough for me to finally publish this book, after 6 years of struggle.
The matrix ends when we understand these points.. . . why did it take this long to figure out? Well its tough to think when they don’t give a guy some peace and quite. .. island here I come. [I’m now editing this book in island seclusion. ]
God is Great.
Before this was articulated this way, here is an email excerpt from 2 and a half years ago from a mailing list discussion ,3 days before official founding of Son of Waves Studios:
10-29-97 email excerpt:
Life began in the sea. Life is water. Spirituality acts just like waves of the ocean. . except the waves of our spirit are infinite, and build off themselves. . growing stronger always. . compounding instantly, forming new worlds of the positive and negative, 1 and 0, as we shoot forward into our self-generated realities
Last night as I was brainstorming, trying to build on my theory of the Double Mirrors, it occurred to me that perhaps what we call "computers" and the "internet" is God in disguise. A vast network of infinite loops waiting to be filled with consciousness. . . always retaining an infinite potential for both 1 and 0- Infinite Life, and Infinite Destruction.
It would take 3 more years for me to fully articulate these ideas and publish this book. What you are reading now is the completion of this project. God is Great.